I'm too late
by kate castle katic
Summary: I look down at her still, lifeless body. I was too late.
1. Too late

I'm stuck in this foggy blizzard.

Where the stormy days blend perfectly with the dark starless nights.

I take in my surroundings and find my hollow reflection glaring right back at me.

My brown eyes empty of the light they once beared.

I no longer see the life that I used to have.

I am no more than a bottomless dark hole.

Exposed for all to see.

The sadness waterfalls haven't graced my cheeks in such a long time, that I no longer have knowledge of the feeling of a tear spilling down my face.

I no longer know how to feel and when emotions start to bloom within me, I have no idea how to express them.

My chest hosts odd sounding beating of my heart.

The misfunctioning machine that pumps the excess amount of blood directly into my ears.

The irregular whooshing that echoes through my eardrums every second of every day never fails to render me dizzy.

I am overwhelmed by the weight of my very own desperation.

There are days when I wish I could end it all.

Just stop and drop everything.

I look again,

I see her flaming red hair.

Her back is facing me.

I call out to her and she doesn't move.

Doesn't flinch, doesn't breathe.

I reach out to her, barely even managing to graze her skin with my fingertips.

She's too far.

Unattainable.

I can't reach her.

I can't save her.

I'm too late.

I cry out.

Dropping to my knees.

Clutching at my aching chest as I look down at her still, lifeless body with the three-inch handle of a knife protruding from her stomach.

She's dead, I was too late.


	2. Wake up, please

**Cheryl' s POV**

I wake up in my room like I would on any other day. The deep red curtains adorning the windows are drawn and everything is dark and quiet around me. An unexpected shiver runs down my spine. The air is crisp and chilly but that is not the cause. A small whimper of fear just resonated from beside me. It was so quiet that had the room not been as deadly silent as it currently is, it would have gone unnoticed. I turn to my left to find my girlfriend's sleeping face. Her features bear a distressed expression, her mouth is moving on its own accord. She whimpers again, louder this time, and starts babbling incoherently. The only sounds that I can decipher are the no's and the pleases that she utters. I know what's happening, I know that she's having a nightmare, but I have absolutely no idea what I should do to help. I watch helplessly as she begins to toss around in the bed. Her head swings wildly from side to side and her mouth opens in a silent scream.

I call her name softly hoping to bring her back to reality but to no avail. I decide to be more direct this time and lay my palm on the clammy skin of her bicep. I know I probably shouldn't have done that. No, I definitely shouldn't have done that. The moment my hand comes in contact with her bare flesh, she tenses up. I can feel her muscles gradually becoming rigid. A second later, she surges up, flinging her arm in my general direction. Her fist catches me in the nose cause a sickening cracking sound to erupt from the impact on my nasal cavity. My unsteady position couple with the sheer force of the blow throws me off balance. I fall from the comfort of the bed and land harshly on my right wrist. I hear another crack which is quickly accompanied by blinding pain in my wrist. That coupled with the pain from my nose has me disorientated. I am paralyzed by it. However, the panic written on my girlfriend's face right now is enough to get me in motion.

I carefully get up, trying not faint from the amount of pain that I find myself in. As I slowly approach her, I start noticing the signs of her impendent panic attack. Her eyes are wide, unfocused and filled with tears that she does not shed. Her lips are parted, her jaw slack and her breaths coming out in ragged, irregular puffs of air. The fingers on her left hand are pressed tight to her sternum, flexing every few seconds as if trying to force the oxygen to her lungs. Her right hand lays limply beside her, the knuckles bloody and bruised. Her entire frame is tense, but I can still see the tremors going through her frail body. I have never, in the year and a half that we've known each other, seen her in such a state of distress and that sight alone breaks my heart. I, once again, ignore how dizzy I've become, wipe my nose with my sleeve to avoid scaring her any further and sit in front of her on the bed. I refrain from reaching out for her, not really wanting a repeat of what happened a few minutes ago. Her breathing, I notice, is erratic. She's not getting enough air and I'm pretty sure that she will end up passing out. I have no idea as to what I should do to help. she's usually the one calming me down from nightmares and such. So, I do what she always does.

I hum.

I hum whatever melody comes to my mind. I hum at least three entire songs before she starts calming down. Her breathing gradually slows until only shuddering breaths remain. Her cheeks are puffy and stained with tears but at least she's back with me.

She looks up, stares into my eyes for a few seconds before launching herself at me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and her legs around my waist. She deposits her face in the crook of my neck. I hold onto her as tightly as I can with a possibly broken wrist and begin rubbing her back. Her body is still shaking but at least her breathing is once again steady.

She's back now.

She woke up.

I'm really dizzy.


End file.
